Congratulations!  You were sorted and sifted and got into the "yes" pile.  You should be happy about this first interview step.

You may be facing this one interview or a series of interviews.  The first interview might be by phone or even by webcam rather than in person.  No matter, the ideas presented in this coaching brief apply to all interview situations.

Now relax.  Breathe.  That's it. Take the pressure off.  Yes, this interview is important, but you are not in a life-or-death situation, so don't let your imagination take you there.

Remember that having an interview is like having a date.  Both parties are there to size each other up and see if the fit is right, and the chemistry is there.   Don't put too much focus and attention on trying to "sell yourself."  Focus more on being yourself.

You were chosen for the interview because you are talented and capable.  Honestly present yourself; manage your part of the interview process; but don't "sell" unless that's what you're being hired to do.  Selling looks a bit desperate.  

Stay centered, and you will remain present in the current moment, the place of your innate power. If you're continuously trying to think ahead and frame your anticipated responses instead of listening to what is being said, you diminish your power, and the interviewer will know it.

Be who you are.  Remember that this is dating, and you don't want to oversell or undersell yourself. (Because you actually don't want to sell at all, but you get the point.)  If you try to show up as a gregarious and outspoken person when you are really more thoughtful and quiet, you will come across like a child attempting to wear a parent's shoes.  The behavior won't fit, and you will end up looking silly.

Too often, pressure comes from the subconscious little girl or little boy part of you that keeps saying, "Oh, I hope they like me.  I hope they won't reject me."  The first question an adult would ask on a date/interview is, "Do I like what I'm hearing and seeing?"  You can stay in your adult mode, you can be in your power, only if you stay present in the moment.

I know a man who was invited to lunch with two potential bosses as part of his fourth and final interview.  He knew he was one of two remaining candidates, and he was happy to be offered the job.  When he consequently asked his new bosses why he had been the one picked, they said that they were impressed by the fact that he had tasted the food before adding salt to it. 

This might sound silly, but in their minds, he had remained totally present in the moment and had not automatically added salt to his food out of habit.  Since his job would involve coordinating events for officials of the state legislature, they considered this to be an important and tie-breaking quality. 

Think about it.  You never really know what the interviewer is looking for.  All you can do is be your authentic self, remain in your integrity, and be genuinely interested and interesting. The later will not be too much of a stretch if you really believe in what you have to offer.

So, remain present.  Your interview will be an interesting experience.  Enjoy it.  Do your best.  Don't worry about outcomes.  You can't control another person's perceptions, so why try?

Words are symbols, and each person changes over time as a result of their personal experiences.  Therefore, what words mean is actually slightly different for each person depending on the experience they associate with that particular word. 

For instance, someone thinking of the word "sunset" may relate to a gorgeous sunset they'd seen on vacation in Hawaii.  The sunset makes them feel expansive, relaxed, and grateful.  There is a "positive charge" on the word sunset. 

However, another person might hear the word and relate it to their father's drowning in a lake at sunset.  Therefore, their experience of sunset makes them feel contracted, angry, and sad. 

Words convey content about thoughts, feelings, or experiences.  Because words carry "charge" based upon individual experiences, sometimes it is difficult to understand someone's reaction to a seemingly innocuous word. 

Again, you cannot completely figure out how different people will hear the same words you do.  You will not always be able to anticipate their responses to your words as you cannot completely know the charge that these words carry and the experiences that fashion their interpretation.  The only thing that you can do is observe the other person's responses to your words.  Then try to understand them.  Gauge your response accordingly.

Before your interview, disengage from your current job, if you have one.  If you don't, disengage from your present environment so that you can give your absolute focus and attention to the interviewer. 

To do this, simply go into your mind, stand at a mental door, look through the door, and see either your current work or your present environment, and then close the door on what you are seeing.  This gives your subconscious the message that you don't want to be interrupted with thoughts of the old.  You are ready to focus on the new possibility represented by the interview.

Be sure that you feel good.  Before you have the interview, do what brings you back to center.  Take a walk.  Have a cup of tea.  Go to the gym.  Do some yoga.  Whatever.  Just be physically relaxed so that you can be psychologically relaxed.

During the visualization, you were asked to give your attention to body postures.  Research has shown that body posture is intimately linked to emotional state.  Before the interview, then, get in touch with the emotions you equate with success and well-being.  Watch how your body changes to match these emotions.  Hold these body postures throughout the interview, and be sure to practice them in advance. 

Look good.  Even if you are going to have a phone interview, knowing that you look good will help you project that feeling of confidence to the interviewer.  I have a friend who wears "date underwear" to an interview to get a boost of confidence.  It also amuses her to know that under the business-appropriate attire, she is wearing her most seductive garments. Since interviewing is like dating, this probably makes perfect sense.

As you are interviewing, stay attuned to what is going on inside of you.  How are you feeling about the people you are meeting?  What are you sensing about the company?  What are your instincts telling you?

Most of us when looking for a new home or apartment walk into a space and know immediately whether or not it is "ours."  The same is true about a company or job situation.  If it doesn't feel right, if it doesn't feel like it's "yours," it probably isn't.  Trust your instincts.  What is truly yours will come to you, so you might need to be a little patient. 

If you are scheduled for a number of interviews throughout the day, take a bathroom break between each interview, if you can.  Stretch.  Mentally shake yourself, and clear your mind.  Mentally close the door on the previous interview and get ready for the next.  Adjust your posture for success and well-being.  Take some deep breaths.  You are now ready for your next interview.

On the home front, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.  Take advantage of the guided visualization.  Like the place kicker who visualized success over and over again and improved his accuracy by 32% and extended his kicking distance by 25%, mentally practice your own interview success.  Visualizing will give you a percentage advantage.

Finally, do all the practical things.  Know what is on your resume without needing to refer to it.  Be sure you can talk about your accomplishments in terms of hard numbers, if you can. ("I improved product profitability by 22% in one year."  "I reduced employee turnover by 31% in two years while average retention rate improved by 28%." "R.O.I improved in my division by 17% last year.") 

Become very familiar with the company.  Be smart.  Show the company that you are interested enough in it and the job to know the company more than a disinterested stranger would.

Now you're ready.  So, relax.  Remain present.  Do your best.  Don't worry about outcomes.  Have fun with this.  And, good luck!

Parts of this Coaching Brief have been excerpted from the book, Messages from a Friend:  Creating your Life, by Anitah Draimon.

Questions for Consideration

1. What thoughts do you hold about finding your next job?  What emotions are raised by these thoughts?  If you are tense or worried, how can you relax so that you can present yourself in the best light?
2. How can you mentally reframe the interview process so that you can be more relaxed about it?  How can you stay more in your adult self during the interview? 
3. What does the voice of the child within you say about your upcoming interview?  Are they giving you information about things that you might need to resolve?  How does this voice trip you up in other areas of your life?  What can you do about it?
4. How do you know when you are off-center?  What are the things you do to get back to center?  Do they always work?  How can you make them more effective?
5. What clothes or items do you wear that make you feel good?   Feel successful?  More confident?
6. Instinctively, how do you know when something, someone, some situation is "for you" or not?  Have your instincts always been right?  What can you do to sharpen your instincts and trust yourself more?
7. Notice your body postures as they relate to your emotional states.  What does your body do when you are happy?  Confident? Successful? Powerful? In charge? Accommodating? Organized? Think of all the qualities that are appropriate to the job you're interviewing for, and be sure that you are clear about the emotional content and body posture of each.
8. What do you need to visualize and practice to "improve your game" for the interview process?
9. What ways have you found that help you remain focused and relaxed in a stressful situation?  How do you take the stress out of a potentially stressful situation?
10. Does your resume tie your accomplishments to hard statistical results?  What can you do to improve it?

If you would like the help and support of someone who is skilled in interview preparation and maximizing personal skills, please call me.

You are now ready to move to the next Coaching Brief: Rehearsing Your First Day.